The Gathering

THE GATHERING

7-DAY RETREAT IN BAVIAANSKLOOF

 ONLY 9 SEATS AVAILABLE PER RETREAT

The Gathering, Baviaanskloof

3 Facilitators
8 Private Sessions
9 Modalities and Techniques
24 Hours of Facilitation and Teaching
280 000 Hectares of Wilderness
1 Labyrinth

Beauty – Peace – Success – You

 Register now for 17 – 24 May 2014

“The way to change it [your life] isn’t the next job
or the next promotion or the next partner;
the way to change it is from within,
because ‘as within so without’”

Whether you are wanting to create energy, align your passion, let go of limiting beliefs or have a time out from the weight of your daily life, the Gathering is all about you – YOU CAN BE MORE.

Sometimes you know you have to make changes but you just don’t know how. Maybe you’re choosing the burden of what you know over the fear of what you don’t know. In between the life that is not you and the life that is, indecision is draining your energy, making you tired, frustrated and possibly angry. We’ll help you find your vision and inspiration to make those changes.

Here’s what others thought…

Most people think that they cannot do what they’d really love to do because it’s too late, that they don’t have the time (or money, or experience, or qualifications) they need, or that they won’t earn what they need to maintain or improve their lifestyle. Most people think that one day, some day, some way, they’ll be able to do what they love doing. They could be right; it’s just that for most people, ‘some day’ never comes. We’ll help you Make that Day Come for You.

Click here for more details…

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Maybe you don’t need to make changes but simply need time away to use your energy on yourself. Away from the distraction of family and work pressure, city noises and pollution, away from the rush – maybe you just need Time For You.

Whichever your reason, know that You Can Be More. The Gathering will help You focus on the lovely YOU you are.

We do not have a one size fits all formula. Through private sessions with each of the facilitators, and a programme designed to meet your requirements, this retreat moulds itself around what you most want to achieve and experience. We’re there to support your journey. Using our unique gifts and talents, let’s nurture and support you from the moment you arrive until you leave.

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THE GATHERING

We are 3 people with a vision. Each of us are passionate about our own field of expertise and sharing that with you. We have facilitated over 100 workshops around the world. We recognise that everyone is different, that there’s no standard ‘one-solution-fits-all’ so we’ll provide individualised attention and focus on YOU.

This is a committed time to you, by you, for you…where you have the space to work with yourself and hold your dreams and visions, and step into making them come true. It promises to be challenging, supportive, inspiring, fun, nurturing, private and introspective.

The Gathering will provide a nurturing environment; wholesome vegetarian food, rest and peace and quiet, times of silence – to challenge and integrate, labyrinth walks, group sessions, individual sessions, body work, bonfires, laughter and a really good break from all that ‘stuff’ of busy life. We will share and love.

Click here for more details and to register…

YOUR HELPERS

Bennie NaudeBennie Naudé – International EFT Trainer and Transformational Facilitator

Jeanne BoothJeanne Booth – Wellness Practitioner & Mind Body Energy Coach www.jeannebooth.com

Linden Booth

Linden Booth – Life & Executive Coach, Personal Development Facilitator www.lindenbooth.com

THE LOCATION: BAVIAANSKLOOF

The Gathering, Baviaanskloof

The Gathering retreat is held in the majestic mountains of the Baviaanskloof, surrounded by nature and peace. It is simple, basic and comfortable. The water is fresh out of the mountains, the air unpolluted and stillness a beautiful presence of its own. It’s perfect for walks aplenty and space for you to really let go, sleep and rest and ‘gather’ all those aspects of yourself and dance again.

YOUR FUTURE

We are creating something different – something that will give you a real sense that you can make a change and sustain it when you get back to your ‘real’ world. And if you just want some delicious nurturing, a chance to re-group and re-inspire yourself because you’re already on your chosen path, than you’ll certainly get that too.

Heal, revitalise, reconnect with passion and fulfill your potential.

Click here for more details and to register…

 

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Assumptions

ASSUMPTIONS

As true as the saying ‘Assumptions is the mother of all screw-ups’ may be, what makes it a little tricky is that assumptions rarely come dressed up as assumptions; they come dressed up as ‘the truth’ and ‘I know’.

Let me give you an example.

Last week I was on a Skype conference call when I noticed a lot of background noise coming from one of the attendees. I knew it was coming from him (let’s call him ‘Mr Noise’ for now) because his Skype picture lit up every time the noise was coming through; as a regular Skype user, I know that’s how it works.

Note that I wasn’t assuming that the background noise was coming from him, I knew; I had processed the available information and come to the only sensible and logical conclusion I could.

As I was about to send ‘Mr Noise’ a request to mute his microphone to spare the rest of us, someone said ‘There’s a lot of background noise, does someone have a television turned on in the background?’

Although I totally agreed, of course, what threw me was that the one saying it, was ‘Mr Noise’ himself!

As my mind tried to work out what was happening – here we had the very person that was causing the background noise, suggesting that one of use was causing it! – someone else (let’s just call him ‘Mr TV’) said that he did have a TV on. As he moved away from it, the background noise stopped.

So despite what I knew (assumed), here is what had actually happened. Mr TV’s background noise came through Mr Noise’s loudspeakers, was picked up by his microphone and fed back into the call for all to hear. The rest of us were wearing headsets, causing the sound to go directly to our ears so that it was never picked up by our microphones – and therefore never fed back into the conference call.

Since then I’ve checked out my assumptions a number of times and was surprised by how often they turned out to be inaccurate.

For example, a few days ago I saw a man and a woman walking in the residential neighbourhood where I live. I noticed that I immediatlely assumed that they were close to where they wanted to go and did not need a ride.

About a block away I decided to check out my assumption:  I stopped, reversed and asked them; it turned out that they had some distance to go and were delighted to be offered a ride.

Here’s another example:  I recently helped a friend who was running a workshop and arrived at the venue early.  I noticed that it was not set up the way that I would have done it and asked the venue staff to set it up the way that I ‘knew’ that my friend would want it; it was, after all, the best way!  Then, remembering that I was writing this article and because I love to practice what I teach, I decided to wait until she came to check out my assumption;  as you have probably guessed by now, she preferred the layout of the room exactly the way it was.

The examples may seem small, and they are; in both cases however, the impact was big. If I had believed my assumptions the couple would have to walk all the way, and the room would not have been ideal for my friend.

Regardless of how sensitive you are, the simple truth is that you cannot read other people’s minds; in your interactions with others, notice your assumptions, and then check it out … ASK.

There is nothing wrong with assumptions; we all make them all the time and they are a valuable tool to get through life; the invitation is simply to check out your assumptions from time to time, to challenge them, and to not believe them by default.

It’s a major reason why most people don’t have what they want:  they assume that they can’t get it, that their idea won’t work, that they won’t get the help they need.

Think about it.

If you’re up for a challenge, want to really deepen your relationships and kickstart your life:

  • check out 5 of your assumptions with your partner or a close friend and see what happens; you may be delightfully surprised!
  • write down your 5 most limiting assumptions about why you can’t have what you want and ask yourself ‘Who would I be if I didn’t believe it?’
  • if you’re familiar with EFT, tap on

And then you may start wondering, how many of the other assumptions you’ve made about yourself, or about life, that are limiting you, aren’t really true either, and what is that costing you?

Assumptions like people will say ‘no’ or laugh at your ideas, that you don’t have what it takes, that you won’t be able to be successful at doing what you love.

What if they simply aren’t true – but you’ll only find that out once you check them out?

Makes you think, doesn’t it?

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A scientific explanation why coaching often doesn’t work (and what you can do about it)

Over the last few months I’ve been studying the workings of the brain in more depth, the real effect of trauma and how to heal it, and the most recent neuro-science on changing our ways, habits and addictions, covering the work of…

As I am beginning to understand the workings (and irrevocably linked nature) of the brain, mind, body and spirit, it’s also becoming clear why it is that even top-coaches are sometimes unable to ‘get’ us to do even that which we know is good for us.

When you understand how the brain really works, it actually makes perfect sense that the best advice in the world often seem to fall on deaf ears for so many of us, and why we either procrastinate or ‘self-sabotage’ our dreams when it’s so clear what the ‘right’ thing to do is!

It usually has nothing to do with ‘laziness’, ‘self-sabotage’ or ‘weakness’ but in fact, often the very opposite!

THE 3 MAIN PARTS OF THE BRAIN

Vastly simplified, we now know that the brain consists of 3 main parts:

  1. The neo-cortex that plans ahead, manages complex social interactions and nuances, and can learn a language.
  1. The mammalian or limbic brain where we evaluate what happens around us and attach meaning to it – resulting in us feeling certain emotions and moods.
  1. The reptilian brain that controls your vital functions like hunger, breathing, body temperature and heart rate.

Not only do these 3 parts of your brain have distinctly different functions, but there are also distinctly different ways of communicating with it, and re-directing it toward changing.

To communicate with your neo-cortex is relatively simple, e.g. you can gather information by reading a book. But here’s the catch…even if the information that is passed to the cortex is bang on the money and you think ‘What a great idea, I think I’ll implement that right away!’ (like a new way of eating, starting to do exercise or stopping smoking) … the buck absolutely does NOT stop there!

HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT RATIONAL!

Despite what you have been told (and what most of us would like to believe) the simple truth is that human beings are not rational. If we were, then we’d simply think of something, make a decision and implement it right away. But, as many of your new years’ resolutions lists will testify, it’s rarely that simple.  And if you are a coach or you have been coached, maybe you too have wondered why it is that sometimes we just won’t do what we know is good for us?

Here’s why: because the mammalian and reptilian brains will veto and overrule a rational thought any time of day, hands down, if it does not agree that the rational thought is safe for you.

WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM?

And how does it decide that?

Even though some people don’t like hearing it, the simple truth is that most of those lessons are learnt in childhood and you cannot talk your way out of it because, as you’ve seen, talking only affects your neo-cortex, which is not where emotional learnings are stored or processed.

That’s why you cannot ‘get over’ past trauma by thinking or talking about it and you cannot talk your way out of your deep seated beliefs (like you’re not good enough, or that the world isn’t safe, or that you have to work hard for money).

No matter how hard to pretend the past didn’t happen or try and bury old painful memories, you will not fool these more primal parts of your brain – unless you override some of it’s core functions with chemicals and medication.

For most people who are open to doing the inner work, there is another way.

OTHER WAYS TO CHANGE THE BRAIN

To replace old programming from your emotional and limbic brains, you have to reach those parts of the brain first.  Thinking, talking and talking therapy, coaching, reading, studying and understanding won’t do it; wanting to ‘think’ yourself different is like shouting at a radio to play another station which (unless it’s a voice-activated radio!) will have little effect in changing the station.

Does that mean I’m against coaching? Definitely not! In fact, I use coaches that are of great help to me, it’s just that I know that in order for the coaching to be effective, I also have to do the work that touches the other parts of my brain – so that all parts align towards the changes I’d like to see in my life.

Whatever new years resolutions or other promises you’ve broken already, whatever ‘issues’ you think you should be over by now, and whichever behaviours you dislike in yourself – know that talking about it and receiving coaching can help change things around, but only if your emotional and reptilian brains are in agreement.

WHAT’S THE GOOD NEWS THEN?

The good news is that there’s a simple way to find out if all parts of your brain are aligned on a particular issue – see what’s happening in your life! If you are making the changes you want to make relatively effortlessly and not requiring constant willpower, and these changes remain over the long term, that’s a pretty clear sign that all 3 parts of your brain are aligned – yahoo, vavavoom and go celebrate!

However, if you’ve been struggling to make specific changes in your life or these changes need needs constant willpower or ‘top-up’ or it’s just not happening, that’s very likely because your neo-cortex has approved the change but your limbic or reptilian brains are going ‘no way’

Instead of giving yourself a hard time or simply trying harder, here are some techniques that you can use to get the different parts of your brain on the same page, by helping the mind/body to process old pain and trauma and sending messages to the mammalian and reptilian brains that whatever happened, happened and that things are OK now – paving the way for creating a future from the NOW and what IS rather than from the THEN and what WAS:

  • Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
  • Matrix Reimprinting (MR)
  • Eye Movement Desensitisation and Re-processing (EMDR)
  • Trauma Release Exercises (TRE)

I’m also very excited by a fairly recent breakthrough in neuro-science  (and the possibilities it brings) of a technique called Memory Reconsolidation Neuroscience (see http://www.coherencetherapy.org/discover/ct-reconsolidation.htm) which I’m currently experimenting with personally – watch this space! – or read a book review of ‘Unlocking The Emotional Brain’ here, where it’s all explained.

If you’d like to experience EFT or Matrix Reimprinting from a qualified practitioner, visit http://www.deepliving.com/practitioners, or consider joining ‘The 2014 BBB’ – it only happens once this year and there are only 8 spaces; click here for details.

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The BBB – only once in 2014!!!

THE BBB: AN UNUSUAL JOURNEY FOR UNUSUAL PEOPLE

** Only offered once in 2014 – for only 4 people **

Here is a rare opportunity for a limited number of clients who would like to create deep, real and lasting life-changes on a 12-week, 6 x private session journey with me.

There are only 4 spaces available on ‘The BBB’ and it’s not for everyone – please read carefully before you decide to apply.

‘The BBB’  is for you if you are clear on where you want your life to head and if you are ready to do whatever it takes to create it; if you have had enough of playing small and are ready to take the next step – even if you have no idea what the next step is!

It does not matter how far or how close you seem to your dream – just that you have one.

Therefore, to be considered for the programme you will have to be exactly that – clear on what you want, ready for change and willing to commit to your better future – now.

BBB is not a general therapy programme.  Instead, it has been designed as a significant ‘next-step’ in your journey towards creating a life where you do what you love and are financially successful.

Think about this…

  • If you are still waiting, what exactly are you waiting for?
  • If you think you’ll get to live your dreams ‘one day’ … you know that for most people ‘one day’ never comes – don’t you?
  • If you are thinking ‘Yes, but…’ – understand that those ‘Yes, buts’ will always be there and that the time to act is now.  Always has been, always will be.
  • If you are thinking ‘If, then…’ (If I have more time, or more money, or if the kids leave home, THEN I will…) – think again, because you probably won’t.

The programme is specifically for you if…

  • you know that you are playing a smaller game than you are capable of, the novelty has worn off and you’ve had enough of it
  • you know exactly what you want to be being, doing and having instead of your current reality – and you have no idea how to do it, or something has been stopping you from creating it
  • you are willing and ready to commit to showing up for your sessions well prepared and to do the change work required in-between

The programme is absolutely not for you if…

  • you are looking for a quick fix
  • you are thinking that your whole life will change in a single session without you having to do anything
  • you want to remain a victim and keep blaming yourself, or everyone and everything else
  • you have no idea what you want to do with your life*
  • you are not willing to show up and do what you need to do to get the results you say you want
  • you think I, or anyone, or any book, or guru, or webinar, or seminar, or workshop, can do this for you

If you know that now is the time and you are ready to commit,

then you will get …

  • a rare opportunity to work with me 1-2-1
  • my experience of walking the talk and leading by example; leaving a very successful corporate career in 2009 to follow my dreams, losing it all, and then growing my own business exponentially year on year, three years in a row,  doing what I love
  • my skills (over 11 years of therapy and over 15 years of international facilitation experience)
  • my latest and updated understanding of the effect of trauma, the workings of the brain, and how to effect long lasting change
  • between-session change-work specifically customised for you to keep the momentum and embed the changes
  • an exclusive forum for mutual support and the opportunity to network with a select few like-minded individuals
  • a bonus group call for more personal attention and help, and the opportunity to get feedback from the group
  • only for the first 4 who take action first, an additional bonus group call where you get even more transformation, help and support

“Working with Bennie has been a pleasure. I realised many underlying causes for my procrastination and I was able to easily complete assignments that I had been putting off for months! Thank you so much Bennie – I know I would not have gone to the USA alone if it had not been for this!”
Tahira


Included in this never-offered-before programme:

  • 12 weeks of solid support
  • Only 4 spaces available
  • 6 x 60-minutes, private 1-2-1 sessions over Skype
  • Access to an exclusive forum

“Bennie has helped me change something that has been a block in my life. It’s been a profound experience and his insight, kindness and gifted talent make this one of the best healing experiences I’ve ever had.
Barry, London


Plus these bonuses worth over $300:

  • “Truly Tapping into Pure Possibility” mp3 – worth $7.99
  • A powerfully guided “Forgiveness” process to truly let go of the past – worth $7.99
  • “The ABC Doing What You Love” live talk mp3 download
  • A 90-minute group bonus call worth $125
  • 50% discount on all my other e-products (excluding e-programmes)
  • 3 months free access to the increasingly popular and life-changing MMM (Money Making Moves) programme – worth $147

“I had an emotional blockage connected to work for 6 years
and had tried many ways to deal with it, so I was a little skeptical about my first meeting with Bennie.
How wrong I was – his work made a massive change.
I am overjoyed at the outcome and would highly recommend him.”
Richard


Additionally, for the first 2 applicants only – additional bonuses worth over $200:

  • ANOTHER 90-minute group bonus call – worth $125
  • Free and immediate download access to the entire RRR programme (From Resentment to Rich and Rewarding Relationships) – worth $79

This programme will only be offered once during 2014

and only 8 spaces are available.

Applications to join ‘The BBB’ close on Friday 28 Feb 2014

To be one of the first to apply to join the ‘BBB’, click here

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The role of disappointment Part 03: Because you care about something; something about this is important to you!

disappointmentWelcome to Part 03 in this series designed to help you release and resolve that painful experience that we all feel from time to time: ‘disappointment’.

You can read the other parts if this series – complete with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping exercises – to help you release disappointment right away – here:

Disappointment shows you that you care about something; that something about this is important to you!

Your feeling of disappointment shows you that something was important to you, that you value something about it, and cared about it.

Think about it – if you did not care about something you would not be feeling disappointed about it, would you?

The ‘something’ that you care about may not always be so obvious, and often it is not even what you think it is.  You can find out what that ‘something’ is by asking yourself these simple power questions:

  • What do I believe I’m missing out on, given that things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to?
  • What about that is important to me?

and

  • What would have given me the most joy if I got the outcome I wanted?
  • What about that is important to me?”

These questions will also help you clarify if whatever is behind your disappointment is aligned with your deeper values.  Sometimes just discovering the truth behind your feeling of disappointment, helps to release the feeling!

Recently I was told that I had to do more preparation before I would be considered for the highest level of leadership in a particular organisation that I’ve been involved with for over 15 years.  When I asked myself the power-questions above I discovered that it was not the position itself that mattered that much to me, but the contribution that I believe that I could make at a higher level of leadership.  When I realized the true driving force behind me wanting the outcome I wanted (and therefore, behind the feeling of disappointment I felt when that outcome did not happen), it felt really good – and paradoxically, the disappointment dissipated!

It has also helped me to realize that I can make the same contribution – or maybe even more – in other ways, and as a result having that position has become less important to me, allowing the rest of the disappointment to release and fade away.

SUPPRESS, EXPRESS OR RELEASE?

Instead of making the feeling of disappointment (or any feelings)wrong, suppressing it or wishing it away, or expressing it by telling everyone and complaining about it, there is another way, and that’s to release it.

EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques, or ‘tapping’, is an easy and powerful way to help release emotions like disappointed.  One of the many great aspects of EFT tapping is that you can tap on yourself when you need it the most – in the moment.

Here’s what to do … but first, that all-so-important proviso…


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NOTE:  if you want to remain disappointed, under no circumstances read the rest of this series because if you do, you’ll start feeling better about yourself and about life!!!


STEP 1: Find something you are disappointed about;  something specific that happened or didn’t happen, or someone that did or didn’t do something that you feel disappointed about.

Think about that specific event or person every time it says [XYZ] below.

STEP 2:  Rate your disappointment on a scale of 0 – 10 and write it down on a piece of paper.

STEP 3:  Apply EFT Tapping. You can either listen to the recording, or just follow the simple script below.

bennie thumbnail

audio

OPTION 1:  For a guided EFT tapping session, download the audio/mp3 here (right-click and ‘Save as’ )

OPTION 2:  Tap on all the tapping points while you repeat these phrases.  If you are not familiar with the EFT tapping points, click here for a diagram; will open in a new window.

Karate chop:  Even though I still feel disappointment about …[XYZ]… I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  Say this 3 times while you tap on the karate chop.

Then tap through all the other tapping points while you repeat one of these phrases on every tapping point, while you tap:

  • I am disappointed about this
  • Things didn’t work out the way I wanted to
  • I wanted another outcome
  • No wonder that I feel disappointed
  • And that’s OK
  • I’m allowed to feel disappointed
  • And I’m curious to find out what’s behind my disappointment
  • I cared about this because [...come up with at least 5 reasons why you cared about this particular issue...]
  • This was important to me because [...come up with at least 5 reasons why this issue was important to you...]
  • Not getting the outcome I wanted means I missed out on [... identify here what you missed out on, e.g. company, more money, love, fun, a car, friendship, ...]
  • And what’s important to me about that is [...identify here what about the company, more money, love, fun, a car, friendship, or whatever you answered in the previous step...]
  • And, not getting what I wanted I also missed out on …
  • And what’s important to me about that is …
  • And, not getting what I wanted I also missed out on …
  • And what’s important to me about that is …
  • What would have made me really happy if I got the outcome I wanted is …
  • And what’s important to me about that is …
  • And what would also have made me really happy if I got the outcome I wanted is …
  • And what’s important to me about that is …
  • And what would also have made me really happy if I got the outcome I wanted is …
  • And what’s important to me about that is …
  • Opening up to other ways that I could meet my needs around this
  • And I love and accept myself anyway
  • I wonder how else I could meet these needs
  • All this disappointment because my needs weren’t met
  • My expectations were different
  • How else can I meet those needs?
  • Opening up to finding other ways to meet those needs
  • And loving and honouring myself for caring about this
  • I’m allowed to care about things
  • I’m allowed to have needs
  • And now I’m open to finding other ways to get my needs met
  • Maybe in ways even better than I thought
  • And whether I do or don’t, I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway, disappointment and all!

STEP 4:  Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.

STEP 5:  Rate your disappointment about that same issue again on a scale of 0 – 10 and write it down on the same piece of paper as before.  The number will either go up, stay the same or come down – either way is OK.

STEP 6:  If there is still some disappointment left, repeat STEPS 3 and 4 until you feel better or the disappointment releases completely.

STEP 7:  Congratulate yourself for taking responsibility for your well-being!!!

I hope you enjoyed this, and that you can already feel that disappointment starting to shift!

Best wishes until next time.

Bennie signature smiley face_03

Other parts in this series:

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Outtake

One of my finer moments
(and just in case you thought my videos were scripted)

Enjoy!

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FREE Gift call for everyone on Wed 18 Dec 2013

stuck

Are you stuck?

Unsure of which way to go?

Unable to let go of whatever it is that’s holding you back?

Confused as how to move forward?

Despondent, frustrated or sick & tired of it?

The answer may very well be at your very own fingertips.

Participate in this free 90-minute bonus call and…

  • get the rare opportunity to work with me 1-2-1
  • get relief from your stuckness – whatever the reason and regardless of how long you’ve had it
  • find out what tapping (EFT) is and how to use it to change your own life
  • if you already know Emotional Freedom Techniques, this call will help you deepen your understanding and experience of it
  • come to your own conclusions (and solutions!) as to the way forward
  • leave the call a lot lighter, hopeful and ready to move on, up and out!

Please share this page with all your friends, family, loved ones
and those in need.


warning

WARNING:  If you want to remain stuck, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES attend this call!


You have to be registered to attend the call.
(The recording will be available for 48 hours free download to those who registered)

*** CALL REGISTRATIONS FOR THE LIVE CALL ***
*** ARE NOW CLOSED ***

Email us on assistance@deepliving.com if you’d like to
get a copy of the call.

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The Role of Disappointment Part 02: Being Attached To An Outcome

disappointmentWelcome to Part 02 in this series designed to help you release and resolve that painful experience that we all feel from time to time: ‘disappointment’.

You can read the other parts if this series – complete with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping exercises – to help you release disappointment right away – here:

  • Part 1: Introduction
  • Part 3 – It Shows That You Care (coming soon)
  • Part 4 – It Shows You That Your Timing Was Out (coming soon)
  • Part 5 – It Reminds You That You’ve Confused The ‘HOW’ With The ‘WHAT’ (coming soon)

Disappointment shows you that you were attached to an outcomeand no, I’m not about to tell you to ‘just let it go!’

Because we usually feel disappointed when we were attached to a particular outcome – and something did not happen the way we wanted it to - it would seem that the solution is simply to release all our expectations, to ‘let it go’.

Other than that in itself being an expectation (to let go of all expectations!) it is about as practical a suggestion as it is to ‘stop worrying’ or to ‘get over’ something:  it may sound like a great idea or sage advice and roll off the tongue easily – but it’s not something that we can achieve through force or willpower.

You already know that telling yourself that you ‘should’ not be attached to the outcome or that you ‘should’ let go of it, usually just makes things worse.  The reason why it makes us feel worse is that these are statements of non-acceptance, of making us and the way we feel, wrong.

In fact, every time we tell ourselves that we ‘should’ not feel the way we do, – and we suppress our feelings – we are causing ourselves harm;  if not in the short-term, then for sure in the long term.

Instead of making the feeling of disappointment wrong, suppressing it or wishing it away, or expressing it by telling everyone and complaining about it, there is another way, and that’s to release it.

EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques, or ‘tapping’, is an easy and powerful way to help release emotions like disappointed.  One of the many great aspects of EFT tapping is that you can tap on yourself when you need it the most – in the moment.

Here’s what to do … but first, that all-so-important proviso…


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NOTE:  if you want to remain disappointed, under no circumstances read the rest of this series because if you do, you’ll start feeling better about yourself and about life!!!


STEP 1: Find something you are disappointed about;  something specific that happened or didn’t happen, or someone that did or didn’t do something that you feel disappointed about.

Think about that specific event or person every time it says [XYZ] below.

STEP 2:  Rate your disappointment on a scale of 0 – 10 and write it down on a piece of paper.

STEP 3:  Apply EFT Tapping. You can either listen to the recording, or just follow the simple script below.

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audio

OPTION 1:  For a guided EFT tapping session, download the audio/mp3 here (right-click and ‘Save as’ )

OPTION 2:  Tap on all the tapping points while you repeat these phrases.  If you are not familiar with the EFT tapping points, click here for a diagram; will open in a new window.

Karate chop:  Even though I still feel disappointment about …[XYZ]… I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  Say this 3 times while you tap on the karate chop.

Then tap through all the other tapping points while you repeat one of these phrases on every tapping point, while you tap:

  • I am disappointed about this
  • All this disappointment about this
  • I really wanted things to be different
  • I wanted another outcome
  • And that’s OK!
  • I really wanted something else to happen
  • What I wanted was …
  • But that’s not what happened..
  • What happened instead was …
  • No wonder I feel disappointed
  • And that’s OK!
  • It really should not have happened this way
  • I’d have liked it more if it happened the way I’d have liked it to happen
  • And that’s why I’m disappointed
  • And that’s OK!
  • I’m allowed to want what I want
  • I’m allowed to have expectations
  • I’m allowed to have preferences
  • I’m allowed to like what I like
  • And sometimes, when I don’t get what I like
  • I feel disappointed
  • And that’s OK!
  • And the truth is that what happened, happened
  • And I cannot change what happened
  • And being disappointed is not changing what happened
  • So I wonder if it would be OK to let some of this disappointment go now?
  • Could I allow myself to let some of it go now?
  • And whether I do or don’t let it go, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway, disappointment and all!

STEP 4:  Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.

STEP 5:  Rate your disappointment about that same issue again on a scale of 0 – 10 and write it down on the same piece of paper as before.  The number will either go up, stay the same or come down – either way is OK.

STEP 6:  If there is still some disappointment left, repeat STEPS 3 and 4 until you feel better or until the disappointment releases completely.

STEP 7:  Congratulate yourself for taking responsibility for your wellbeing!!!

I hope you enjoyed this, and that you can already feel that disappointment starting to shift!

Best wishes until next time.

Bennie signature smiley face_03

Other parts in this series:

  • Part 1:  Introduction
  • Part 3 – It Shows That You Care (coming soon)
  • Part 4 – It Shows You That Your Timing Was Out (coming soon)
  • Part 5 – It Reminds You That You’ve Confused The ‘HOW’ With The ‘WHAT’ (coming soon)

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The Role of Disappointment Part 01: Introduction

disappointmentWelcome to Part 01 in this series, designed to help you better understand, release and resolve that painful experience that we all feel from time to time: ‘disappointment’.

I recently started wondering about the role of disappointment in our lives.  Given that disappointment is often painful and that most of us work very hard to avoid it, it may at first glance seem absurd to suggest that it has a particular role to play, yet I think that it does.

In this series you will…

  • learn about the different roles of disappointment,
  • see how it is often driven by misunderstandings,
  • begin to understand how it can (and usually does) have a positive intent,
  • find out how it can help you learn more about yourself by asking the right questions,  and
  • experience and practice a simple way to resolve it.

You’ll also learn how to find out what’s really going on (you’re really disappointed for the reason you think you are!), how you can use it to empower you, and how to release it safely, in the moment.

Below is an audio (mp3) for you to listen to get you into the swing of things, including a ‘tapping’ (EFT) exercise that’ll help you shift some of your disappointment.


warning

NOTE:  if you want to remain disappointed, under no circumstances read the rest of this series because if you do, you’ll start feeling better about yourself and about life!!!

.


bennie thumbnail

audioTo download an audio/mp3 introduction, which includes a tapping exercise to help you release disappointment in the moment, click here (right-click and ‘Save as’ to download)

I hope you enjoyed this, and that you can already feel that disappointment starting to shift!

Best wishes until next time.
Bennie signature smiley face_03

Other parts in this series:

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Using ‘The Process’ to Love, Accept and Forgive Yourself More

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“Ultimately, your quality of life comes down to the quality of your relationship with yourself.”

There are many reasons why this is so, not least of which (the now scientific fact) that we are all connected, and that it really is true ‘as within, so without’.

As Neville also taught so clearly a few decades ago, the external world is our ‘inside’ pushed out.

If you have done what you can to change the world, people, places and things around you, and your life still isn’t quite working the way you’d like it to and if things are harder than you’d like them to be, how about turning within and changing your relationship with yourself?

‘The Process’ will help you do just that.

As you create a more loving, accepting and forgiving relationship with yourself, everything changes for the better… but you already know that, don’t you?

No-one else can do this for you – take your power back to be free of the past!


Do ‘The Process’ again, and again, and again… and notice the difference.

Watch these other clips to see how you can use ‘The Process’ to …

Please share this with family, friends and others you care about (use the share buttons or just send them this link http://www.deepliving.com/theprocess-someone-hurt-you/)

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Do You Want To Be An Emotionally Intelligent Parent?

This in from Robin Booth:Emotional Intelligence = your ability to work with your emotions. And I met a man who trains in a conscious technique to enable you to do this in less than 30 minutes. And I have invited him to give you a FREE experience of this next week (not just a talk but an actual experience).If you are about to lose your patience, how can you implement a conscious and Intelligent skill? If you are in reaction, how can you respond? Remember that image of Stimulus – Reaction that I talked about in the workshops?robin

Your child does something and it triggers something inside of you and you find the anger/ frustration and even possible rage rising up and before you know it, the words you DON’T want to say are said and the damage has been done.

But what would it be like to be able to have a different experience of that trigger and therefore able to change your defaults, and RESPOND to the situation in a more conscious and appropriate way?

Bennie Naude spends a lot of time travelling the world training practitioners in the Emotional Freedom technique and I have persuaded him to give us a sample of what this can do for you, especially if you want to apply so many of the skills you have already learnt with me.

So join us on Thursday 22nd August at the Fish Hoek library from 18:30 – 20:00 and actually experience how this can support you in your development of Emotional Intelligence. The responses from people are HUGE in their ability to stay more focused and manage their reactions.

Imagine how this would impact your parenting style? Your curent reactions may be costing your child their self esteem. And my skills can only help if you are level headed enough to apply them.

WHEN: Thursday 22nd August

WHERE: Fish Hoek Library Hall

TIME: 18:30 – 20:00

COST: FREE TO THE PUBLIC

NO BOOKING NEEDED

And if you are interested in any of my other workshops starting soon (21st August- the 21 Cooperation skills, and the 28th August – the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting series) you can check them out here.

Robin Booth
http://www.robinbooth.co.za

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