EFT Tapping – Helping You To Do What You Love

If you haven’t yet you may want to read where this article started, http://www.deepliving.com/appreciation-a-blessing-or-a-curse

How often do you want to tell someone that you appreciate them – either for something specific they did or just because of who they are – and then you don’t because you feel awkward or embarrassed or can’t find the ‘right words’ or the ‘right time’?

How often do you put it off until ‘later’ (which, of course, rarely comes?)

In the book ‘Time to Think’ that I mentioned in this post, Nancy Kline explains the positive impact that receiving appreciation has on us.  She then takes it a step further and shows how appreciation not only fosters emotional well-being but even supports our physical health.

Now you’ve probably already worked this out … the only way that appreciation can be received is if someone was giving it in the first place. And I’m suggesting that that ’someone’  be you!  Today!

Nancy suggests an appreciation/criticism ratio of 5:1 and that appreciating someone 5 times more than criticizing them works miracles.  (And maybe, when you think of some of the people that you interact with, you’re thinking that that’s not possible!)

Whether you subscribe to the 5:1 ration or not, here’s the thing:  if you’re like most people then you rarely consciously think of losing the people in your life and you just assume that they’ll be there forever.  This, despite the fact that since no-one on this planet has ever escaped death as far as we know, it’ll probably happen to them – and you – too.

I’m not saying this to be morose or to ‘guilt-trip’ you into expression appreciation that you don’t mean; it’s just that the one thing that we probably all agree on is that at some point or another, we won’t be around in this life in this way.  We’ll ‘move on’, ‘pass over’, go to ‘the other side’ – or simply put, die.

Even though I don’t believe that it’s ‘too late’ to appreciate people after they’re gone, you probably know from personal experience that there’s just something different about looking someone in the eye and telling them that you appreciate them, or writing them a note or in this day and age, a Whatsapp or SMS.  Despite any comfort you (or the) may feel on the surface, the deeper undercurrent of appreciation is what it’s really all about.

Why would you want to wait even one more day if you can do it today?  Now?  Why not think of someone that you appreciate right now, and telling them?  Even if it’s uncomfortable?

Over the next few days and weeks, be on the lookout for expressing appreciation in the moment, to whomever you want to appreciate – friends, family, colleagues, strangers.  Like most things in life, the more you do it, the easier it will become and before you know it, expressing appreciation will just be what you do!

You’ll probably feel a whole lot better after you’ve done it, and who knows, it  could just change someone else’s life…

Go on … do it … you know you want to

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How comfortable are you with receiving appreciation? 

I thought I was – after years of practice! – until this week when my phone rang.  I saw who it was: someone that I recently got to know and with whom I’m really enjoying a connection with.

You know when conversations with someone flow easily, when it’s easy to make yourself at home in their home, where you put on the kettle and open the fridge and it feels like you’ve been friends for a long time?  Well, it’s been like that.

Turns out they were calling to appreciate me.  Having just read Nancy Kline’s chapter in ‘Time to Think’ on appreciation I was especially conscious of not interrupting, not rejecting it, of just listening, of just being with his appreciation.  And still, I noticed that I was getting nervous; I noticed how I got up, how I started walking around the room, then to the room next door, then around the house!

I stuck with the discomfort.  I brought my body to a standstill.  I listened as best I could.  Then at the end, I said ‘Thank you for that beautiful blessing, I very much appreciate it’.

That was it.

Nothing else needed to be said.

I didn’t have to launch into immediate tit-for-tat reciprocal appreciation. I didn’t have to minimize or reject their view of me or put myself down – which so many people do with ‘innocent’ phrases like ‘Oh it was nothing’ or ‘Flattery will get you everywhere’.

What they told me was, after all, the way they see me.

Why would you do anything but listen, and accept, and appreciate the appreciation?

Here’s my challenge to you if you’re up for it … the next time someone gives you appreciation, no matter how big the temptation to deflect, ignore or trivialise, how about just listening, and when they’re done, saying ‘Thank you’?

Do it and let me know how it changes everything.  It must.

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• Do you ever wonder if everything is really possible?
• Do you believe that ‘stuff just happens’ and is it your experience that life is something that happens ‘TO’ you’?
• Do you think that ‘anything is possible’ means that you must be able to do everything?

Of course I cannot prove I that anything is possible, just like I cannot prove that the sun will come up tomorrow.  I do, however, find both these beliefs useful and empowering!

A short while ago I found myself running 4 websites, 2 membership programmes, hosting multiple webinars, training events and workshops, doing private client sessions as well as doing most of the ‘behind the scenes’ admin in my business.

Then a single question by a friend led me to close down 2 of those sites. Shortly after, I appointed more people to help me run things. Then someone’s comment on the importance of being focused led me to stop doing client sessions and webinars.

These decisions weren’t easy. I love doing webinars, client sessions. Stopping these activities was a like cutting out parts of me and my mind was asking ‘Yes but what about the countless hours you put into those projects Bennie, and the love and passion that went into them? What about the people you used to help? What about the lost income?’

The more I asked myself ‘What do I TRULY love to do more than anything else’, the more things I cut out, the more I was able to focus on one area, the more things started flowing as a result, and the easier it become.

I finally realized that ‘Anything is possible’ doesn’t mean that you can do everything. By yourself. At the same time!

Since I’ve started saying ‘no’ to these activities and was able to focus more on my first love – training – doors and opportunities have opened that I could not even have imagined even a few short weeks ago. When I look back now it all seems so obvious!!

If you find yourself thinly spread, engaged in too many activities, frustrated or exhausted, or if you’ve been unable to become successful at something that you truly love, how about taking a risk, following your heart, and starting to cut other activities – even if it’s a bit scary, and risky?

Remember this simple truth: every nanosecond that you spend doing something else, is a nanosecond away from your passion and your dream.

Remember that no-one is coming to rescue you and that your life is unlikely to change ‘as if by magic’ unless you change.

As always, the best (and the only) time to change is NOW.

Energy flows where attention goes.

Where are you putting your attention today?

What are you ready and willing to say ‘No more’ to, so that you can say ‘Yes!!!!’ to your passion and your life?

Let me know how it goes!!

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