Blaming others is great if you want to give your power away and get or stay stuck. It’s great because you get to remain a victim and powerless, so it gets you off the hook from taking responsibility for your life. You may even enjoy the illusion of power that comes from blaming others and best of all, righteous blame usually creates the sense of being right; let’s face it, most of us would rather be miserable than be wrong!
If that’s the type of life you want for yourself, that’s a valid choice – I just hope that it’s a conscious one. If however you’re willing to try something different, do read on.
Since we cannot change the past, what is done is done. Whatever someone did to you, can never be undone – regardless of whether what this person did to you was right or wrong, painful or pleasurable, moral or immoral, wanted or unwanted.
It’s over now.
And all the blame in the world will not undo it. Never, ever.
Instead of punishing the perpetrator (a story the mind often tells us), holding on to the blame keeps you stuck. And here’s something you don’t get to hear about often: given that energy flows where your attention goes, the more you turmoil and angst about this, the more attention you give this, the more likely it is that you’ll attract the same type of incident again.
To move on with your life you don’t need to condone another’s behavior. You don’t need to be around someone that you’d rather not be around. You don’t need to become friends with or stay in relationship with people that harm or hurt you.
But blaming someone else is giving them, and the past, power over you.
So to move on from the past and re-empower you, do need to take responsibility for your life NOW. Realizing that brings you to a simple choice point: Do I want to stay stuck, or move on?
It may be that you are not ready to reclaim your power and move on yet; it may be that you need to heal old hurt first – that’s ok. It may be that you enjoy the blame so much that you want to hold on to it a little longer; that’s ok too. It may be that being a victim feels cozy and warm and safe and you’re not willing to take back responsibility for your life and of course that’s ok too.
My wish for you, however, is that you will realise the futility of blaming others and that you’ll decide that you owe it to yourself (not to them) to let it go.
Here’s a tapping video to help you along.