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For some reason I’ve been putting off writing this for the last couple of days now and suddenly, a few hours before midnight here in the USA, I found the words.  Or rather, they
found me.

I’m heading back to London next week and am excited about the 6 training events that I will be hosting in London, York and Scotland, including the EFT Level 1 and 2 trainings in London and a workshop on how to effectively overcome Shame and Guilt in York in January and my first EFT training course specifically designed for gay men, in Scotland.

Where the 12 months leading up to mid-2011 was one of the most challenging times of my life, the last 6 months were without a doubt the most profound!  I had to learn what it really means to take 100% responsibility for what I want (and don’t want) in my life, and exactly how to move towards creating my dream life.

It was a year of many firsts.

Although I’ve lived and travelled to many countries, my first trip around the world.  My first EFT trainings in Geneva and Australia.  Qualifying as a Matrix Re-imprinting practitioner. Launching my first webinars and despite initial panic ending up loving them! Launching The Passion Project For Men and The Laughing Monkey and getting wonderful and affirming feedback.  Making my first internet sale.   Launching a MMM (Money Making Moves) pilot group and being blown away by the results barely 4 weeks into the program!

It was also a year of learning to say ‘No’ more often because sometimes we have to say ‘no’ to things, people and opportunities so that we can say ‘yes’ to ourselves and to what is really important.   Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs cites that one of the reasons he was so successful is because his skill at saying ‘No’ allowed him to focus on what was most important.

So it was a year, all right, and one that I’ll remember as a pivotal turning point in my life.

I sign off with the utmost gratitude for the privilege I have to do what I do for a living, for being able to share my life-experience with you and connect even though we may not see each other face-to-face.   I am blessed to know so many people from all over the world that reach out, connect, and share.

I heard myself say on a webinar last week ‘Take it from me – the shortest route to joy is to do what you love’.

And so it is.
Bennie Naudé

PS) May you treat 2012 well, for it will treat you accordingly!

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Every year my dad sends my brother, my sisters and I a New Year’s message.  Both my brother and I have lived abroad for many years now and we’re both heading out to South Africa next year to be together as a family, so in this year’s message my dad shared how excited he was about spending time with all 4 his children again because “there are only so many ‘next times’ in a life-time.”

That sentence stopped me in my tracks; of course we all know (or at least, suspect!) that, sometime in the future, one of our breaths will be our last one; we just don’t know when that will be and we seem to forget that every now and again and live as if we’ll be here forever – putting off those things that are really important to us.

Now I’m not going to suggest that you pick up the phone and call that someone you’ve been meaning to call.  I’m not going to prescribe forgiveness for whatever ‘they’ (whoever ‘they’ are) did to you, even though you are the one to benefit the most from any such forgiveness).  I’m not even going to tell you to stop smoking or start exercising, to stop to smell the roses or to do more things that make you heart sing, and I’m definitely not going to tell you to or to use the special china or wine glasess, wear the special earrings or buy the more expensive chocolate next time; your inbox has probably already started filling up with those messages.

My message is more important than that because everything else is secondary.

Sometimes people get a clear message that their ‘next times’ may be limited, like a friend in Australia who was recently diagnosed with terminal lung cancer at age 42.  To read more about Jamie’s journey – click here.

The truth is that no matter how healthy or sick you are, you cannot know how many “next times” there will be for you, and whatever your beliefs are around heaven, hell, reincarnation etc, I wager that this lifetime, in this way, will only come around once – NOW.

Plain and simple, you cannot know how many ‘next times’ there will be.

So here’s the one thing that I will ask of you:

Whatever your dreams are, whatever you’d love to be, do or have in your life, can you at least be open to the possibility that the only reason you have those longings is because they are possible?  That you CAN create them?  Even if you don’t know how?

Can you, will you, please, stop arguing for your limitations about why you can’t be, do or have what you want in your life?

I always considered myself quite smart, yet I did exactly that – arguing for my limitations – for most of my life and yet was still surprised by the crappy results I got!  Simply deciding to believe that anything I can conceive of is really possible has changed my life beyond all recognition and I highly recommend it!

You see, and if you’ve been reading me for a while you’d have heard this before – no-one is coming to rescue you (nor can anyone). (Click here for an article I wrote about this).

The ball is really in your court (it always has been and always will be, even when you want to blame others, or life, or circumstances, or God) and the solution at your very fingertips.
And once you get how powerful you are – that you can create anything your heart desire, well let’s just say that that changes your life experience in a way that words cannot describe.

It’s been said in thousands of way over thousands of years: so within, so without.  Your outside world is a 100% true reflection of what’s on your inside and this is phenomenal news for you because it means that whatever you create on the inside will come to pass – it must!

Something else that you’ve always had and always will have is free will; I hope that you choose wisely!

Blessings
Bennie

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I got this from Jamie, whom I met in July in Australia, last week and am sharing it with his permission.  Thank you Jamie for modelling what ‘taking responsibility’ really means!

‘4 months ago I was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer that had spread throughout my chest via the lymph system.  The doctors were considering this very serious and offered chemo and radiation treatment to “buy me some more time”. The shock of this news was like being hit by a truck. I too thought this could never happen to me. I am only 42, a non-smoker and I have lived a far more healthy life than most.

I quickly learnt that these things don’t just happen, instead we create our own existence by the way we live and the living environment we create around us.  So I knew if I had the power to create the environment for cancer to form and survive in, then I had the power to take it away.

I learnt that the key to healing ourselves is taking control of our own lives, and not handing it over to a doctor or the medical institution.

I also learnt that our body is a physical manifestation of what is going on at our heart and soul level:  if my soul is unhappy, then this will be recreated physically in my body.

The thing is, until I started looking deeply within, I never knew that my heart and soul were unhappy. I was as “normal” as anyone else!

The approach I decided to take is to deal with this at the root cause – to heal my heart and soul.

Apart from meditation, positive affirmations and spiritual healing, a critical part of my inner journey for my heart and soul is EFT. EFT offered me the ability to clear a great deal of old negative energy that I had been unknowingly hanging on to for a VERY long time.  This negative energy, I believe, is what manifested into the cancer cells in my body.

After each session with you, Bennie, I walked away feeling lighter and so much more positive.

Our sessions enabled me to find my power within and to take control of my own life and therefore my own healing journey.

This week my progress CT scans have demonstrated that the secondary
cancers throughout my chest is now completely gone!

I won’t say that any one thing caused this to happen, thoughI will say it certainly wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t taken control of my life.“

Truth is that none of us can tell the future, but here’s the thing: If Jamie had simply agreed with and accepted the diagnoses, my guess is thing would have turned out very differently.

So bless you Jamie for showing us what it really means to take responsibility for your own life (literally!)

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It’s a fact of life (backed up by quantum physics) that what you focus on expands.

I loved this clip that shows how simple this concept is, to moment to  moment, focus on what’s right with the world, what’s right with YOUR world.

PS) Hey I said it was simple… I didn’t say it was easy!

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Having seen in Part 2A how important it is to align your mind with where you want you be going, here are some practical ways to do exactly that (because that is really the only way to create the life you want.)

In Part 2A we explored the concept of beliefs: here is a short video explaining more about how they work, where they come from and why they are so important to you:

Now that you appreciate the importance of beliefs and how they affect everything about your life experience, here are some of the most effective ways to change beliefs:

1.   Conventional tapping with a powerful twist

Because EFT tapping is so effective, it probably comes as no surprise to you that you can also use it to tap old beliefs out and new ones in.  It works especially well when you add these two powerful tips to your tapping routine – enjoy!

2.  Temporal tapping

Temporal tapping is a little weird but wonderful.  It’s quick and if done persistently, it works!

3.  Turbo-charge your affirmations

You’re probably already familiar with affirmations, and even if you’re not, here are two great ways to turbo-charge them up and to get your mind to start working for you to get what you want.

4.  Persistently choose (and change) your thoughts wisely

Since thoughts become things, you want to be very mindful of what your are thinking.  And since words and actions are a more condensed versions of thoughts, you also want to be mindful of what you are saying and doing.

Even if you do all these exercises but your predominant thoughts are still of the ‘Things never work out for me’ variety, trust me, they never will or even if things does go right for a while, inevitably something will happen to spoil the fun and you’ll get to be right and say ‘See, I TOLD you things never work out for me!”

Its OK to have these thoughts and there’s no point in beating yourself up (it just makes things worse); you just want to CHANGE them.  To start things off, choose a single thought that you’d rather have, one that would be more conducive to you having what you want in your life; something like ‘I am happy, healthy and wealthy’ or ‘Things always work out for me!’ – and say this EVERY time you notice yourself expecting the worst or thinking negative thoughts.

The same goes for conversations; remember that words are thoughts expressed.  If you are someone who habitually complain about the past or predict the worst of futures, I’ll guess that your life isn’t exactly happy right now, and with good reason: it’s not because you are bad or wrong, nor is it due to fate or luck – it is simply due to the fact that thoughts become things and that somewhere along the line you learnt to think a certain way … leading to predictable results: thinking unhappy thoughts lead to an unhappy life, and thinking happy thoughts lead to a happy life.

What’s great about that is that you can ABSOLULTEY choose your own thoughts! As you start choosing the ones that are aligned with your dream life, the more your dream life will manifest right here, right now, before you very eyes!

So the next time you sense that you’re about to say something that predicts a negative future (the traffic will probably be horrendous, it’s going to be a nightmare, I will never
make it) just realise that your thoughts have enormous creative power (and your words
even more so!) – so STOP.

THINK AGAIN.

LITERALLY, THINK AGAIN. THINK ANOTHER THOUGHT.

As a first step, do your best to at least be open to the possibility that things could work out well, that it could be pleasant, and easy, and that you could make it; let’s face it, stranger things than that happen all the time!

As a next step towards taking full responsibility for what you want in your life (remember that Nobody is Coming), start actively and persistently putting out thoughts of how you would like things to be; thoughts like “Life is easy”, “Amazing opportunities keep coming my way” etc.

Before I sat down to write this article I kept thinking ‘I’m a good writer and it’s going to be easy to write this” and I’m finding the the words are just coming to me without even having to think about it – it’s easy!  If however I’d been worried about writing it, or kept telling myself (and others) that I’m a poor writer and I don’t know what I’m going to write and it’s going to be a struggle and and and – well think about it: it would probably have been an unpleasant experience – one that I created so with my thoughts.

Even if your positive thoughts don’t immediately result in the outcome you want, think of it as planting seeds; you don’t know exactly when they will come up, just that they will, because you will reap what you sow; it’s a law of the universe whether you believe it or not, like it or not!

5.  Act from a new belief

You know the saying that the proof is in the pudding?  Well sometimes it’s a bit like that with changing beliefs: waiting for your beliefs to change before you start acting from that new belief is like putting the cart before the horse.

One of the most effective ways to install a new belief is to ACT from it; that means, DOING something as if the belief was already true.

If, for example, you want to adopt a new belief that money is easy to come by, do something that would prove that belief: leave a generous tip the next time you buy a coffee or every now and again when you go shopping, buy the luxury stuff instead of the no-name brand.

Act ‘as if’ – and this is not an excuse to go deeper into debt; just do SOMETHING that you would do if the new belief was true and it doesn’t have to cost money  – take a day off work and do something you love, ask someone out, say hello to a stranger – just do something.

The more you live in the place of a new belief already being true, the more it will become true – and that’s a fact of life.

6. NLP belief change process

NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) came about when Richard Bandler and John Grinder studied successful psychotherapists like Virginia Satir who were getting remarkable results with their clients in the 1970′s.

If applied unskillfully NLP doesn’t really work (or can make things worse) but like EFT and pretty much everything else, when done in the correct way by someone who has mastered the skill, it often produces amazing results very quickly.

NLP offers a ‘belief change’ process which works quickly and, especially when supported by the other techniques I mentioned here, is usually permanent.  To try it for yourself, book a session with me or any NLP practitioner you trust.

Conclusion

It’s not essential to change your beliefs for you to create your dream life … but it does make things a whole lot easier because thoughts become things, whether you believe it or not!

Blessings until next time
Bennie

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9/12

My trip around the world is coming to an end soon and I’ll be back in London in January for a few weeks, before I head out to York for the EFT Community Gathering, Scotland to run a few workshps and then South Africa to spend time with friends and famliy and teaching EFT there for the first time!

I go swimming most mornings here in New Jersey – I just love the meditation and creation time as I actively use my mind to create the life I want:  imagining my ideal future, hearing
conversations that I would like to have in real life, seeing myself doing what I love, living in a beautiful place and so on.

I love how some of those things have already manifested as I’d imagined and believed they would.:  my brother unexpectedly gifting me a brand new and fabulous iPod the very day I
imagined having a new one;  my diary filling up with more clients during the last 10 weeks than at any time since I started DeepLiving almost 3 years ago and creating new and successful webinars to name a few – exactly as I ‘saw’ it in my mind’s eye.

There is a saying that we teach what we need to learn the most; I think sometimes it’s more a case of teaching what we need to remember the most as there’s a difference between not knowing -  which would make it impossible to teach – and knowing
but forgetting.

Case in point:  one recent morning I decided to cut my swimming time by 10 minutes because I had a lot to do that day; filming, editing and posting 50+ videos and over 30 audios, client sessions, web-design changes and so on;  one of my projects had been taking  longer that I’d planned and I started feeling anxious about completing it.

As the time came for me to get out of the pool to rush back to my desk, I suddenly remembered a few things.

I remembered that I really loved swimming and that to cut my it short was denying myself one of my daily highlights – a way to truly nurture my mind, body and spirit..  I remembered that 10 minutes were only 10 minutes and that, in the big scheme of things it would actually make no difference to my project!  I remembered that I get a lot more done and that everything flows easier when I feel great about myself -  which I do after swimming.

I remembered that for me, swimming was about a lot more than just swimming; that it is also my creation time and that frankly, that is the most important thing in my life (and so it should be in yours, if you really want to get to where you say you want to be getting
to).

I realised that having missed a self-imposed deadline and working harder with longer days, and now wanting to cut my swim-time, was NOT the way to go. (hello, been there, done that - MANY times!)

I realised that I’d been getting grumpy that week – and now I knew why:  working longer hours, getting more intense, making more mistakes and having to re-work more things,
getting more frustrated in the process – a spiral heading nowhere but down – and one I know very well!

I realised that taking care of myself was my first and foremost responsibility because unless I did that, there would be no Bennie to make my dreams come true or to help anyone else.

I realised that as long as I am clear about where I’m heading, as long as I do what can be done very day, as long as I use the unlimited power of my imagination to create everything I desire and as long as I believe that it is coming to me, everything else really is a walk in the park, to be enjoyed and cherished, moment by moment.

So I chuckled (try it while you swim, it’s great fun), and continued to swim until I felt complete.

It reminds me of an advertising poster for a bank that I saw in New York many years ago, which said “Sometimes, stopping to smell the roses has nothing to do with stopping.  Or smelling.  Or roses.”.

I think they were on to something…

Blessings all round and happy tapping
Bennie

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1. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost…I am hopeless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
2. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I’m in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
3. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in…it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
4. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it
5. I walk down another street.

(from the ‘Tibetan Book of Living and Dying’)

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After applying EFT to myself and clients for years I kept wondering why sometimes it didn’t seem to work.

Why was it that for some people it worked instant miracles and for others it just didn’t?

Why was it that even with all my experience and literally having done hundreds of hours of tapping on myself … I was still stuck in some parts of my life and seemingly unable to move forward?

Why did the same old patterns keep showing up in my life, like attracting potential partners into my life that just did not nourish my soul?

Most importantly, why was it that I was never happy for any significant amount of time?

Sure, I would have times when I was almost deliriously happy, but before long the doubts would start creeping back in, things would start to go wrong … and before I knew it I would be in that o-so-familiar place of experiencing my life as totally and utterly pointless.

What made it worse was that people who knew me would be seemingly unable to understand why this happened as, from what they could see, I had everything to be happy about!

But then – initially, I couldn’t understand it either and when I started the practice that I’ll be sharing here and in Part 1 (Body) I didn’t actually see the beauty in what I was doing;  I didn’t quite appreciate that I was finally addressing mind, body and spirit, simultaneously, persistently, every day – maybe  for the first time in my life.

It was only recently that I could being to understand why it had so significantly changed my life experience but then, as Neville said:

 ”We must practice what we have heard, for without practice the most profound understanding in the world will not produce the desired results. So a little talent…, if you really expand it, if you exercise it, will be far more profitable than many talents that you do not exercise.”

Over the years I have literally spent tens of thousands of pounds (and rands and rubles and dollars and dirhams and francs and euros!) on books, seminars and therapy – but rarely did I consistently apply what I learnt, with persistence.

For some reason most of the people reading this, even if they think it’ll work for them, won’t actually apply it and so will never get to experience the benefits – are we an interesting species or what!?  (You may also want to read the article ‘Nobody is Coming’)

Anyway, I digress.

In Part 1  of this series we looked at the “Body”; and I’ve just added something to it so even if you have read it you may want to revisit it.

So part 2, will focus on the Mind, and this (part  2A) will I know that you will forgive me for repeatedly emphasising two key concepts in this article:  the first is that most of what I’m talking about (and mystics and poets have been talking about for millenia) is now being proved by science.

I am in no way suggesting that just because you’re reading this that it’s possible for you to reach even higher levels of joy, or satisfaction, wealth or health; your life may already be pretty good and exactly the way you like it and if so, then you’re probably already doing the things I talk about here –consciously or unconsciously.

Please also forgive me if I caution against extremes and play devil’s advocate at the same time; having a very sharp mind myself I’ve heard (and come up with!) all the ‘yes buts’ in the book so I habitually pre-empt the remote possibility (an occupational delight) that you may have a mind even half as cynical as mine!

So just on the off chance that you sneaked onto my distribution list (or I forced you to sign up!) and you think this tapping stuff is all a bit aerie fairy (no pun intended) then I want you to know that there is an ever increasing amount of scientific evidence that tapping works; I refer to a couple of references in this regard..

• Bruce Lipton PhD – bridging science and spirit all the time
• “The Genie in Your Genes” by Dawson Church
• A controlled comparison between EFT and EMDR

The other thing that I emphasise here is that thoughts become things.  I learnt the phrase from Mike Dooley (http://tut.com)  and his book ‘Leveraging the Universe and Engaging the Magic‘.  It’s impacted me so much that I’m creating a tapping webinar series around this fabulously inspiring yet practical book – more details later.

Now minds in general often get a bad rap and that’s because they usually make trouble for us if we leave them to their own devices and let them roam around freely.

It’s a bit like leaving a young puppy alone in your art studio, stamp collection of unfinished stack of Jenga (picture right).

Now when, while you’re out, the puppy does what puppies do, and you come back to a mess, you could blame the puppy … or you could take responsibility and next time put the puppy on a leash, or train it, or simply and probably better, never ever ever ever allow it close to your works of art again!

The mind is the same.

Left to its own devices, untrained and being allowed to roam where it wants easily leads to unhappiness and living an unfulfilled life and here’s why:

THOUGHS BECOME THINGS.

And not only do thoughts become things, your thoughts also have a significant impact on your energy system and how you feel.

Now (like) gravity, you don’t to believe in thoughts become things for it to work; it works anyway and there’s pretty much nothing you can do about it!  If you’re not convinced, write down your top 10 beliefs (how you think) about yourself, money, health, life, love, and relationships on a piece of paper.  Now compare that with what you have in your life today.  Yep, 100% fit, right?

For some reason and for most of us, if left unattended, the mind tends to spend a lot of time churning around unpleasant thoughts about the past and future.

Science has taught us that a habit results in a group of neurons in the mind firing together and then wiring together; the more you do something (anything), the stronger this ‘neural pathway’ becomes and the easier it is for you to repeat the behaviour – sometimes even if you don’t want to!

Science also coined the phrase neuro-plasticity which is a fancy term for ‘teaching old dogs new tricks’; you can learn new behaviour and change a habit by creating new neural pathways; the stronger you can make those pathways the more inclined you are to go down this new track and the less you go down the old track, the weaker it becomes.

Fact.

So, the more you say ‘Life is really hard’ or ‘I am clumsy’ or ‘I am really bad at remembering names, or maths, or relationships’, well guess what … the more that will be true.  Because, yes, thoughts become things and the more you say it, the more inclined you and your brain will be to down that route (making life hard, being clumsy or forgetting names).

Most of this happens unconsciously and people I talk to are often dumfounded when I reflect their own words back to them or replay a recording of our conversation because they just had no idea the extent of their negative use of language.  [That is why ‘reflecting’ is such a powerful way to communicate; read here for tips on how to listen effectively]

BELIEFS

We all have beliefs, and just as well!  Believing that the sun will come up tomorrow makes it easier to schedule your diary.  Believing that you know how to walk or that it is safe enough to leave your home is helpful to get around.

What’s really important to know is that beliefs are not right, wrong or real – the just ARE – and you can (and I strongly suggest you do!!) change the ones that no longer work for you.

If you used to believe that a certain route to work was the shortest and you find out that there’s actually another route that shaves 30 minutes of our commute, would you change your belief or would you stubbornly insist on the old belief?

Now if you said ‘I’ll let go of the old and start believing the new, do you think I’m stupid?’ great.

Yet isn’t it true that sometimes in life we stick to old beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “My dreams won’t come true” or “I can’t make a living doing what I love” – even though we know that they’re not true?  The main problem with these types of beliefs are, of course, that thoughts become things…

Fear not … in Part 2B I’ll share with you an array of techniques that you can start using immediately to

• Consciously use your mind to create what you want (because thoughts become things)
• Erase old beliefs and install new ones in a way that’s quick and easy, slightly wacky, and works
• What thinking this way has to do with a boomerang!

If that sounds like it could be useful, stay tuned for Part 2B!

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21/10/2011

There is this weird concept out there that whatever you experience in your life on the outside, is a reflection of what’s happening inside (of you).

Now I know a lot of people don’t believe that and that’s ok; I didn’t believe it either formost of my life.  Others want to believe it but wants the proof that it is true.  And some people totally believe it, and therefore experience it so. (or is it that they experience it so, and therefore believe it?!)

It matters not where you stand on the issue because it’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about where you go on the inside when things aren’t working for you on the outside.

Here’s what I mean.

A while back I’d arranged a session with a fellow Matrix Reimprinting practitioner to help me work through something that was very sensitive for me to talk about.  Just as we were getting started in our Skype session her husband walked into the room where she was; she turned away from me and had a short conversation with him before she turned back to me.

I was quite shocked as I would never let that happen in a client session, and I picked it up where we left it, as best I could.  A few minutes later she stopped me because she had to ‘take care of something’; she got up and left, and I was astounded … little did I know there was more to come!

A few minutes after she got back and we continued working and at a particularly vulnerable moment for me she ‘had to answer the door’ as someone was dropping something off.

Waiting for her to come back I realised that this was just not OK by me; here was a ‘professional’ therapist breaking the most basic rules of building trust and safety with a client who was, in this case, me.

When she returned I told her that I did not feel safe enough with her to continue our session, and we ended the call.

I then noticed that a part of me wanted to get really upset (angry and hurt) with her, with her behaviour, what she did, what she ‘should’ have done and what she ‘should not’ have done.

Knowing very well where that train of thought leads (I’ve had lots of practice!) I decided to do something different and asked myself a couple of very simple questions:

• How did I interpret what she did?  How did I judge her or her behaviour?
• How have I been doing that to myself?

The juiciest judgement that I came up with was that she had disrespected me.

And then … musing on the 2nd question (where had I been doing that to myself) … OOPS .. it struck me!

That very morning I had woken up with a promise to myself that I would have a leisurely day – stay in bed and read or watch a movie – after a very busy week.  What I actually did was to keep thinking ‘I just want to finish this one thing’ and then the next ‘one thing’ and before I knew it the day was gone and I had had no down-time.

Now if that isn’t disrespecting myself then I don’t know what is!

Once I realised this, I could make peace with myself for having broken my promise and disrespecting my need for down-time (sometimes I get so passionate about things that I want to do it ALL NOW!).

That left her.  I could remain resenting her, but for how long would I want to do that?  An hour?  A day?  A week?  How long did I want to feel bad?  I was the one feeling upset; it did not affect her nor did it undo anything that happened.  It was just … well … leaving me feeling upset!

What I choose to do instead was to silently, all by myself, thank her for allowing me to see how unlovingly I had been treating myself (other examples also starting coming to me) so that I could do something about it.  I immediately felt totally at peace with her and what had happened, as I reconnected with myself.

Now here’s where I see us getting stuck sometimes:  I have no intention of ever asking her for help again!  I simply don’t trust that she understands what it means to create a safe environment for deep personal work.  And that’s ok; she doesn’t have to change the way she works and I don’t have to work with her.

It is absolutely possible to be totally at peace with what had happened between you and someone else and still choose not to spend time, do business or enter into a relationship with that person.

So the next time someone does or says something that upsets you … try this on for size; it’s quick, its easy and it is hugely empowering!!

Let me know what happens; email me on bennie@deepliving.com!

Bless her, bless you, bless us all!
Bennie

PS) Hmmm, maybe it is what I was talking about after all….

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