“Most people are always loyal to their patterns whether they are conscious of them or not. Most people will behave in ways that will create what they believe will happen. When a person is in the midst of acting out a pattern that they have come to believe is true as a result of their experience, they do not think. They act out. They reap the expected outcome.”
A profoundly moving book, an autobiography with a difference by Iyanla Vanzant. Raised poor and mostly unloved, she rose above the limitations into which she was born to become a successful speaker, writer and spiritual teacher.
“Where do children learn about God or life or love if not through the actions of those entrusted with their care?”
She not only writes about her childhood in a gripping way but also is able to prize out with amazing clarity the (mostly dysfunctional) life lessons she learnt from the way she was raised and how it influenced her life as an adult. More importantly, she offers a way through and a way out.
“When you need to be loved, you take love wherever you can find it. When you are desperate to be loved, feel love, know love, you seek out what you think love should look like. When you find love, or what you think love is, you will lie, kill and steal to keep it. But learning about real love comes from within. It cannot be given. It cannot be given away. It grows from your sense of self…”
Written with wit, compassion and humility, I highly recommend this book to every parent and every child – to all of us.
“Acceptance or rejection of how you are treated by others is a function of how you feel about yourself. When you are wounded, you bleed. It is the bleeding that makes you feel bad.“
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