“The root cause of all misery in the world is a lack of self-acceptance. In the end, until you accept and believe in yourself, nothing else really matters;it is the difference that makes the difference.”Bennie Naude
“We must risk the journey to a higher ground where there is freedom from the gravitational pull of our stories, the pull that comes from years of trying to prove that the stories we tell ourselves, the ones we’ve made up, are the truth.”Debbie Ford in her book, Courage
“If I knew everything about your external world, I can only predict 10% of your long-term happiness. 90% of your long-term happiness is predicted not by the external world but by the way your brain processes the world.”Steve Achor
Private Sessions with Bennie
We all have self-imposed limitations and unresolved ‘stuff’; that’s not the question.
Your self-acceptance and self-belief is what propels you forward in life; your lack of it, is what holds you back; there was a time when people believed the earth was flat.
When you move with confidence and self-kindness, everything is different; you may still experience disappointments or so-called ‘failure’, but it won’t matter as much. You may still experience hurt and heartache from time to time but it won’t go so deep or last so long. You’ll be more resilient and get up quicker when you fall down, and move more purposefully through life.
Until you love, accept and believe in yourself it will be practically impossible to experience a ‘good’ life; even when things go well you’ll experience stress and worry that you’ll lose it all or be rejected when people find out who you ‘really’ are.
- Self-belief is not logical; you can have the highest qualifications from the most prestigious establishments, great success, enormous wealth, or the most beautiful family – and still doubt yourself.
- Self-belief is not finite; you can have absolute belief in yourself to be a great partner, or parent, or manager, and have little faith in your abilities elsewhere.
- Further scientific news is that it is physiologically impossible to just ‘get over’ self-doubt because these are embedded in your limbic brain; you cannot talk your way out of it.
And yet, there are ways in which you can exponentially increase your belief in yourself, bringing with it a much more fulfilling life experience and typically, more success.
It is when you finally decide that you have had enough of believing the painful and limiting stories about yourself, and you have the courage to take responsibility to change your life – by changing the way you feel about yourself – that you become more peaceful, prosperous, happy, or [fill in the blank].
Just because people believed that the earth was flat, did not make it so; yet, they lived their lives according to their belief; they limited their travel for fear of “falling off the edge of the earth”.
This is not about “becoming a better person” or “improving yourself”; it is, like Michelangelo said, about transforming whatever is getting in the way of you believing in yourself more. You are already, now, whole and complete; it’s simply your lack of belief that this is so, that gets in the way!
Here are the three main things sabotaging self-belief and self-acceptance:
- unresolved trauma (big and small); this affects your limbic brain and
- limiting beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve”
- a lack of loved ones, teachers or mentors that believe in you absolutely – until you can
If you know how, you can change this. (The question is not if you can change; you already know deep down that you can, or you won’t be reading this).
These changes do not always happen overnight and never happen without commitment. If you are looking for a quick fix, a guru or someone to do it for you, I cannot help you. If however, you are willing to do whatever it takes, then I probably can – read on.
“So many shifts have taken place since I started with Bennie that I feel a changed person, much stronger and more centred than ever before.
He has helped me to regain my sense of self-worth; we achieved in 6 sessions more than I could have ever hoped for.
Even in uncomfortable areas he has a way of working that is never intrusive or awkward. The benefits of the ‘homework’ that I was given were astounding – it helped me define the many blockages that stood in my way.
I also appreciated feeling that I was more than a ‘number’ amongst his clients; it felt real and personal – a committed interest to achieve the change together.
Once you’ve worked with Bennie, the investment (time and money) seems insignificant because what I gained is invaluable.”Lionel Bourgeois
I have worked with thousands of people around the world for over 10 years; I’ve learnt a lot during this time, and have built my client practice on what works.
- A maximum of 5 clients: I only ever work with a maximum of five clients at any time to make sure that I can give you my absolute attention and focus; at certain times of year, due to retreat, training, travelling and other commitments I see no clients.
- 6 sessions over 2 months: For continuity, consistency and to make sure that you get the support you need, sessions for new clients are available in blocks of 6-sessions spread over 2 months. This way of working has proved again and again (and again) to set you up for a win; in any journey there are ups and downs, and this is also true when you start changing your outdated, untrue and limiting beliefs about yourself. More importantly – it is often between sessions that critically important information gets revealed that, if missed or ignored, usually leads to things sliding back to the way they were. (Previous and existing clients can book ad-hoc sessions when available).
- Skype, phone or in person: Most of my client sessions are conducted via Skype or the phone; you can also come to my home in the northern suburbs of Cape Town – or wherever I’m travelling – if you prefer.
- Change work created and designed specifically for you: What happens between your sessions is at least as important (if not more) than the sessions themselves. I will suggest specific change work exercises and routines for you, customised after every session and as you grow.
- Power check-ins: I check in with my clients a couple of times a week via the phone or email to celebrate their wins, and encourage them when they need it. Clients tell me that this level of support is invaluable to them. (Note: this is not ‘therapy via email’; they are short, succinct power check-ins.)
- Rates, payment plans and concession slots: My rates are on the next page; payment plans are available to those who need it. I always have one concession slot for clients who cannot afford my standard rates.
- Other products and programmes: I have a wide range of experience with other programmes and products, both my own and others; because I believe in collaboration and co-creation over competition, I’ll suggest these as I think it will best support you.
What you can expect
Not all my clients always get everything they want in 6 sessions (sometimes it takes a bit longer to undo a lifetime of programming), but most do.
When you work with me you can expect:
- the skill-set and experience of someone who has trained internationally with many teachers in many techniques and have worked with thousands of people.
- the compassion and kindness of someone who is utterly familiar with very painful places.
- the directness of someone who has grown exponentially himself, therefore knows that you can too and always believes in you absolutely.
- a non-judgemental environment where you can be completely and totally safe without the fear of being judged, allowing for very deep healing and transformation to occur.
- sessions to begin and end on time (every time) and you can absolutely expect to get homework between sessions, because that’s where the real change happens.