Now why, I hear you ask, would the monkey be happy about not being spanked when this pastime is by far the biggest the world over and a constant source of pleasure for billions of men?
Well, sit down comfortably and let us begin:
Once upon a time men quite happily used the lingerie section of the freeman’s catalogue to enhance and support the simple act of a little light relief, but after time, as with many things in this life, this source of simple inspiration failed to deliver and men went in search of something a little more spicy.
And so the top shelf was born! Yes, suddenly there was choice, variety and stimulation that was fresh and new and suited to all needs.
Now this new source of material wasn’t that easy to access. It involved buying things you didn’t really want, brown paper bags and scrupulous attention to who was in the shop at the time of purchase. Of course men’s need for this material far outweighed the downside of procuring it, and so it stayed this way for a good many years and everyone, apart from a couple of disgruntled monkeys, were relatively happy.
And then came INTERNET PORN, da da daaaaaa!
Suddenly there was no longer a need to travel to the shop and browse furtively at the top shelf; suddenly everything you could possibly imagine (and things you could not!) were available at your fingertips at any time and any place and in a vast abundance. You could visit any porn site any time you wanted (and even when you didn’t want to)!
Now we at The Laughing Monkey are not opposed to any of the above, far from it, but what we are interested in is the subtle but substantial effect this change has had on men’s sex lives. (Not to talk about their self-confidence, energy levels and emotional well-being!)
Pushed to the extreme and given the wide array of internet porn sites available at a click’s notice, you may already be at that point where you feel that “I don’t really enjoy sex these days unless my partner is tearing my hair out whilst shoving a cucumber down his/her arse and whistling Dixie, with the neighbour watching, shoving a strawberry up his nose whilst strangling his wife and peeing on the pool boy/girl at the same time.”
A little extreme, perhaps, but I’m sure you get the idea. (By the way, I have nothing against water sports, cucumbers, strawberries, neighbours or pool boys and girls. To the contrary. (Although strangling is not my thing.) I am merely suggesting that if you need this level of excitement all the time to enjoy sex, then I reckon that porn’s done a good job in getting you off here.)
Let me also be clear: I am not advocating that porn gets banned, and I’m not saying it’s bad. In fact, if you’re happy with your porn use, go for it! (pun intended). If you don’t view your porn use as a problem, or as internet porn addition, click and whack away!
If however, you’d like to do less of it or quit your internet porn use altogether then this site was made for you – read on.
[By the way, if you really want the truth about whether your porn-play is a habit or an addiction … here’s a test to help you find out; it’ll open in a new window so you won’t lose your place here.]
Here are some of the common effects of internet porn use
- feeling guilty, ashamed, hopeless or concerned about your inability to stop doing porn
- feeling scared that you’ll be ‘caught’ playing the fool to the song and dance of Katrina and the Whips or Donkey Kong …
- unsatisfactory and/or excessive masturbation, leaving you feeling empty
- finding your real life sexual partner less attractive and needing to recall porn images in your mind to stay aroused while having sex with them
- feeling tired, listless, demotivated and having difficulty concentrating
- feelings of depression that just won’t lift no matter what you do
- premature ejaculation or even erectile dysfunction/impotence
If you have found that the constant access to a cacophony of internet porn has led to an increase in your spanking the monkey and a decrease in how good you feel about yourself and about life, then you will want to find out more.
The fact (yes, based on science) is that internet porn changes your brain in a way that leads you to wanting to do more porn to feel better, which leads to you feeling worse without it, which leads you to wanting to do more to get away from feeling bad, which leads you to feeling worse … get it? It’s the perfect cycle of addiction!
Now that explains a lot, doesn’t it?
When you’re ready, click here for a little journey of exploration on why you actually do porn…